Today, while in a rush, I threw together the ingredients for what I intended to be cornbread. I say intended to be cornbread because in my hurry, I forgot to add cornmeal which, as it turns out, is a pretty vital ingredient in cornbread. I didn't realize the error until I sliced into the non-cornbread and noticed a distinct lack of corn color. I ate it anyway. It wasn't horrible, but it was stupid, so I decided to make myself the subject of today's stupidity. However, I rarely go down without dragging someone else along with me, so I figured today would be like a Reader's Digest Life in These United States blurb in which I throw in a few culinary mishaps of people who, until today, were my friends.
When I met Karla, her diet consisted mostly of Pop Tarts and pasta with processed Parmesan cheese, and she had little interest in expanding her repertoire. But she fell in love and got married, and her new husband expressed an interest in a diet consisting of more than two items. She dutifully accommodated, and after a few years even bought a rotisserie. Upon presenting her beloved with a perfectly cooked chicken, he took a bite and spit it out. “Is it cooked?” he asked. “Yes.” “Why is it so wet?” Unlike the chickens she had cooked for him over previous years, this chicken was moist.
Jill's husband loves pot pie. As a treat, she decided to make pot pies from scratch. She searched for the perfect recipe and followed it to the letter, but the finished product yielded a watery sauce that had an odd flavor that no one could quite pinpoint. Finally, her husband asked to see the recipe and noticed that it called for heavy whipping cream. Realizing what the odd flavor was, he asked to see the container. Nonplussed, she presented him with the remainder of a tub of Cool Whip.
So now that I've thrown my friends under the bus, I'll be back to my regular format tomorrow.
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