I see a lot of stupid stuff while driving around and today was no exception. After spotting two dumb bumper stickers and a dubious sign, I decided to share the ones I saw today, along with ones I've scoffed at in the past.
Bumper Stickers:
“My child is an honor student”. If your kid is so smart, maybe she should have told you that slapping that sticker on your car doubles the depreciation rate.
“It’s a person, not a criminal.” All criminals are people. If you break the law, then you’re a criminal. Even if you’re a person.
“Jesus didn’t heal for profit.” I actually had to ask around to try to figure out what these people are against. Doctors making a profit? Insurance companies making a profit? Anyone who makes a profit? I’m still not really sure what they are trying to say except that somehow making money makes me less like Jesus. You know what else makes me less like Jesus? Having a house.
“My child is a good citizen. Washington Middle School.” I don't even know what that means. Your kid is in middle school. He doesn't vote, he doesn't pay taxes. Quite frankly, he's still a drain on the system. Did he learn his state capitals and get declared a good citizen by way of bumper sticker? I think we all know what it really means. Your kid didn't make honor roll.
Signs: “Please step forward”. This was at a rest stop over the urinal in a unisex bathroom. I'm guessing it was at the request of a female patron or two.
“Do Not Mow”. I noticed this in the grass on the side of the highway. I wonder if anyone has been penalized for breaking this rule. This is a rogue group of criminals that I have not yet spotted lurking around. And you would think they would stand out. You know, what with having to push that mower around.
“Vending Machines Open 24 Hours”. This seems to be a pretty redundant selling point. And it makes me wonder, how does one close a vending machine, exactly? I mean, if by some chance you went to a vending machine after hours, couldn't you just plug it back in?
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